HOW NAIJA FINEGAL GOT HER GROOVE BACK!

Hello my beautiful people of blogville. I hope you guys are having a great week. What I want to share today is how I have been coping after the break up. I have been doing better than I thought infact everyone has been asking me if I got back with my ex, or if I met a new guy, they say am GLOWING and I look HAPPIER. Of course I was ecstatic to hear that and I wanted to share my secrets with you guys.

1. It’s okay for you to CRY, please go ahead and cry yourself a river. It worked for me and after each episode of crying my eyes out I felt much better. First it’s like everyday, then it’s once a week, then once in 2 weeks and before you know it you can’t cry anymore. One day I was a little down and wanted to cry so badly but nothing came out……LOL…I felt so stupid I started laughing…..you guys should picture me trying to force tears out of my eyes and you will know why am laughing.

2. Avoid facebook, hi5 or those other social websites. Going on these websites is not a good idea because A) You will notice a lot of the people on your friend list have a special someone in their lives, anyways its always been like that but you never noticed because you had your special someone too. B) The ex might be putting up pictures that will hurt you…..you know those i-am-doing-fine-without-you pictures. C) Also if you guys announced on facebook that you guys are in a relationship, engaged or married, that will surely be taken off by your ex……this will add to the pain you are already going through. Since the break up I go to facebook only to reply wall posts, messages and I sign out immediately. This was hard for me to do at first because being the gistmonger that I am I usually marinate myself in my friend’s photos, wall to wall posts, and the likes. I am yet to meet that person that likes gist more than I do so if I can do it so can you.

3. Listen to songs that will make you feel good. The following are examples:

Listen to
*Beyonce – Irreplaceable (lolololololololol….. I know everybody’s mallam and househelp even mother has rocked this song…. TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT…..the good thing about this song is that it has a way of making you feel like the HBIC (head-bitch-in-charge)…sha make sure that no one is around while your basking in this special number….lol. If your caught don’t say it was naijafinegirl that suggested it oh :P. I refuse to go down with you….LOL

Don’t listen to
*No air- Chris Brown& Jordan Sparks (you will find your self gasping for air when you are choking on your tears….hehehee)

But really on a more serious note, do not listen to songs that you guys shared together its a major NO NO you will only make yourself feel worse.

4. Caution yourself don’t go about looking for a guy now. You find yourself being attracted to a lot more guys that won’t make your cut on the norm. For example, if you find yourself saying “that guy doesn’t look bad” a lot, tell one of your friends to slap you, please don’t tell one of those eager friends or those one that secretly hate you oh, I don’t want you to have bruises all over your body and blame me for it.

5. Change your environment. Right now I am in another state and will be staying here till school starts in August, this has helped me a lot because I have made new friends, have a summer job and don’t have to stay at home in my room crying and wondering woulda, coulda, shoulda have stayed in the relationship. For those who don’t have the luxury of traveling out of your area, I will advise you to go and stay at friend’s house for a week or two; this will make you feel better as you are in a new environment and at the same time enjoying the company of your friend.

6. Invest your time in something you enjoy doing e.g shopping ( only if you have money in your account don’t go shopping if your broke oh), buy a recipe book and try making new things, sign up for a dance class, infact do anything that makes you happy and takes your mind off your ex. For me it was blogging, dancing in my room (yes in heels too…lol am that crazy), I give myself pedicures and manicures, I learnt how to drive and got my drivers license ( y’all should stay away from finegal if you see her driving if you love your lives) . So as you can see there is more than enough to do.

7. When you go to the movies or when you want to rent a movie don’t go about getting all those mushy movies that will remind you that you are as single as they come. One thing that has helped me a lot to get through my break up is…….SITCOMS. I watch them all Will&Grace, Everyone loves Raymond, Seinfield, Family guy, Two & a half men……LAUGH, LAUGH AND LAUGH you need a lot of that now…….. Also you can go and read/ re-read naija fineboy’s blog….laugh all u want it’s for free ( you know we peeps love free stuff…lol). Remember…. You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it-Bill Cosby.

8. Cling to your girl friends they are a good support system, allow your friends in on your pains after all if they are true friends they will hang around you even though you are not the most fun person to be around at this point. Also please don’t just use them for dumping all your problems only, allow them to treat you to a nice time also. Have fun.

9. When tempted to call your ex make it a point of duty to call the most talkative person you know. For me, it is my mother when I call her I know it’s a wrap and I won’t get off the phone for another hour or two, infact sometimes I sleep off while talking to her. That is fine with me anyways because afterall the whole point is not calling the ex. Give yourself time to heal, you can be friends later.

10. Anytime am heart broken (this is my second heartbreak) the last thing on my mind is praying or even God but one thing I have noticed is that until I pray and immerse myself TOTALLY without holding back in God’s love, His Words and worship songs I am never back to my normal self. It took me about a month to get around to this final but most important stage, but now that am there I am loving every minute of it. I want all those going through a break up or heartbreak to know that……YES YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN AND IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.


THE END

*This might not work for everyone this is just how I became my happy self again.
* Also I didn’t read this from any magazine, blog or book, all of the points written above is what I have done or am still doing to be the happiest person I can be. I refuse to allow any man have control over my happiness.
* Please feel free to share with us how you got over an ex am sure you guys have a lot to say!!!