Hello my beautiful people of blogville. I hope you guys are having a great week. What I want to share today is how I have been coping after the break up. I have been doing better than I thought infact everyone has been asking me if I got back with my ex, or if I met a new guy, they say am GLOWING and I look HAPPIER. Of course I was ecstatic to hear that and I wanted to share my secrets with you guys.
1. It’s okay for you to CRY, please go ahead and cry yourself a river. It worked for me and after each episode of crying my eyes out I felt much better. First it’s like everyday, then it’s once a week, then once in 2 weeks and before you know it you can’t cry anymore. One day I was a little down and wanted to cry so badly but nothing came out……LOL…I felt so stupid I started laughing…..you guys should picture me trying to force tears out of my eyes and you will know why am laughing.
2. Avoid facebook, hi5 or those other social websites. Going on these websites is not a good idea because A) You will notice a lot of the people on your friend list have a special someone in their lives, anyways its always been like that but you never noticed because you had your special someone too. B) The ex might be putting up pictures that will hurt you…..you know those i-am-doing-fine-without-you pictures. C) Also if you guys announced on facebook that you guys are in a relationship, engaged or married, that will surely be taken off by your ex……this will add to the pain you are already going through. Since the break up I go to facebook only to reply wall posts, messages and I sign out immediately. This was hard for me to do at first because being the gistmonger that I am I usually marinate myself in my friend’s photos, wall to wall posts, and the likes. I am yet to meet that person that likes gist more than I do so if I can do it so can you.
3. Listen to songs that will make you feel good. The following are examples:
Listen to
*Beyonce – Irreplaceable (lolololololololol….. I know everybody’s mallam and househelp even mother has rocked this song…. TO THE LEFT, TO THE LEFT…..the good thing about this song is that it has a way of making you feel like the HBIC (head-bitch-in-charge)…sha make sure that no one is around while your basking in this special number….lol. If your caught don’t say it was naijafinegirl that suggested it oh :P. I refuse to go down with you….LOL
Don’t listen to
*No air- Chris Brown& Jordan Sparks (you will find your self gasping for air when you are choking on your tears….hehehee)
But really on a more serious note, do not listen to songs that you guys shared together its a major NO NO you will only make yourself feel worse.
4. Caution yourself don’t go about looking for a guy now. You find yourself being attracted to a lot more guys that won’t make your cut on the norm. For example, if you find yourself saying “that guy doesn’t look bad” a lot, tell one of your friends to slap you, please don’t tell one of those eager friends or those one that secretly hate you oh, I don’t want you to have bruises all over your body and blame me for it.
5. Change your environment. Right now I am in another state and will be staying here till school starts in August, this has helped me a lot because I have made new friends, have a summer job and don’t have to stay at home in my room crying and wondering woulda, coulda, shoulda have stayed in the relationship. For those who don’t have the luxury of traveling out of your area, I will advise you to go and stay at friend’s house for a week or two; this will make you feel better as you are in a new environment and at the same time enjoying the company of your friend.
6. Invest your time in something you enjoy doing e.g shopping ( only if you have money in your account don’t go shopping if your broke oh), buy a recipe book and try making new things, sign up for a dance class, infact do anything that makes you happy and takes your mind off your ex. For me it was blogging, dancing in my room (yes in heels too…lol am that crazy), I give myself pedicures and manicures, I learnt how to drive and got my drivers license ( y’all should stay away from finegal if you see her driving if you love your lives) . So as you can see there is more than enough to do.
7. When you go to the movies or when you want to rent a movie don’t go about getting all those mushy movies that will remind you that you are as single as they come. One thing that has helped me a lot to get through my break up is…….SITCOMS. I watch them all Will&Grace, Everyone loves Raymond, Seinfield, Family guy, Two & a half men……LAUGH, LAUGH AND LAUGH you need a lot of that now…….. Also you can go and read/ re-read naija fineboy’s blog….laugh all u want it’s for free ( you know we peeps love free stuff…lol). Remember…. You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it-Bill Cosby.
8. Cling to your girl friends they are a good support system, allow your friends in on your pains after all if they are true friends they will hang around you even though you are not the most fun person to be around at this point. Also please don’t just use them for dumping all your problems only, allow them to treat you to a nice time also. Have fun.
9. When tempted to call your ex make it a point of duty to call the most talkative person you know. For me, it is my mother when I call her I know it’s a wrap and I won’t get off the phone for another hour or two, infact sometimes I sleep off while talking to her. That is fine with me anyways because afterall the whole point is not calling the ex. Give yourself time to heal, you can be friends later.
10. Anytime am heart broken (this is my second heartbreak) the last thing on my mind is praying or even God but one thing I have noticed is that until I pray and immerse myself TOTALLY without holding back in God’s love, His Words and worship songs I am never back to my normal self. It took me about a month to get around to this final but most important stage, but now that am there I am loving every minute of it. I want all those going through a break up or heartbreak to know that……YES YOU WILL BE HAPPY AGAIN AND IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
THE END
*This might not work for everyone this is just how I became my happy self again.
* Also I didn’t read this from any magazine, blog or book, all of the points written above is what I have done or am still doing to be the happiest person I can be. I refuse to allow any man have control over my happiness.
* Please feel free to share with us how you got over an ex am sure you guys have a lot to say!!!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
NAIJA MEN "DO" KISS AND TELL!!!
I would like to thank those who came by my blog. It is so good to be single again, as in I have heard more gist in the past 2 days than I did during the 2 years I was in a relationship. Is there a written rule that I don’t know about, that only singles are eligible for getting gist? You people should answer me oh…………….okay am tired of waiting, anyways I don’t blame you guys because some babes just can’t keep gist to themselves, if you let them in on any gist you should be sure their boyfriend will know also! The bobo will now be looking at you one kind when you guys see, you know that madam-gossip-i- hail-you look....LOL.
Anyways let me get to the koko of this post. As for me, I am scared of naija men, them guys are something else oh! As in, can you imagine that a personal friend of mine, not a friend’s auntie’s mother’s son oh. When I say friend I mean I see him at least once a week .Let’s call him Boye. So I get a phonecall from my friend to go to Boye’s facebook page. Boye just broke up with his girlfriend and the best thing he could do was to proceed to facebook and announce using the status update that “His ex-girlfriend (he gave the first and last name of the girl) had a HUGE vajayjay”. He is one of those guys that you meet once and he adds you as a friend on facebook. So you can imagine he has thousands of friends, and also he and the girl had a lot of mutual friends. The stupid boy didn’t stop there oh he kept giving us updates about the girl for another week, that was the main gist the whole of last semester. Everyone went to Boye's facebook page atleast once a day for that whole week. Yours truly was guilty also....hehehe. If I was the girl I would have jumped into river ocean…lol…seriously no jokes. When I see the girl around campus I feel for her, pele my dear everything will be alright.
Fast-forward to yesterday I was just watching the b-ball game (Lakers vs. Celtics) when one of my very close friend called me from jand lets call her jandedbabe. The number was showing as private and I wasn’t going to pick it, because there is this one boy that calls and if I don’t pick up then he calls as private number. I don’t know why but I picked it eventually, thank God I did. It was jandedbabe and she was coming to the states at the end of the month to visit, we were making arrangements on how we were going to meet up and all. After talking about the serious things, she did her usual duty of giving me the lastest gossip in jand……..you know how we girls do *wink wink*. Am not about to deny I like G-I-S-T, infact if you are reading this blog you are a gistmonger too and you need to stop denying it: P. Anyways we ended up talking about her ex, something about him having a new girlfriend and they broke up because the girl liked sex too much. When she told me I was like jandedbabe I didnt hear you well. As in for real. Anyways you know how janded gist gets around real fast. Word got to the girl and she had the audacity to say “anyways I was with him because of the sex”. Babygirl wherever you are please you can do better than that and also please do us all a favour and learn how to respect yourself.
My ex was not from Nigeria he was from another West African country and thank God he was all about keeping our relationship private. Mama finegirl didn’t like him because he wasn’t a Tayo, Kunle or Jide , my mother is very backwards when it comes to things like this. Now that am single she has been drumming it in my ears that I should looking be looking for a good Yoruba man. See me see trouble, will she be there to make him Amala, Eba,Fufu, Pounded yam and the likes? Me I can make anything but all those food you eat with your hands. I can make you the ogbono, okoro soup or efo but am sorry you have to make the eba yourself only if you want to eat okoro soup and rice or pasta.....lol.
Sorry I deviated, back to what I was saying....my people I don’t know what to do but one thing I know for sure is that I don’t want my business to be out there just because I am dating a Nigerian guy. What advice do you guys have? How can you prevent them from giving out too much information while you guys are dating or after the much dreaded breakup? Does it involve a contract..lol? Also do you guys have any horror stories of a naija guy kissing and telling? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE
Anyways let me get to the koko of this post. As for me, I am scared of naija men, them guys are something else oh! As in, can you imagine that a personal friend of mine, not a friend’s auntie’s mother’s son oh. When I say friend I mean I see him at least once a week .Let’s call him Boye. So I get a phonecall from my friend to go to Boye’s facebook page. Boye just broke up with his girlfriend and the best thing he could do was to proceed to facebook and announce using the status update that “His ex-girlfriend (he gave the first and last name of the girl) had a HUGE vajayjay”. He is one of those guys that you meet once and he adds you as a friend on facebook. So you can imagine he has thousands of friends, and also he and the girl had a lot of mutual friends. The stupid boy didn’t stop there oh he kept giving us updates about the girl for another week, that was the main gist the whole of last semester. Everyone went to Boye's facebook page atleast once a day for that whole week. Yours truly was guilty also....hehehe. If I was the girl I would have jumped into river ocean…lol…seriously no jokes. When I see the girl around campus I feel for her, pele my dear everything will be alright.
Fast-forward to yesterday I was just watching the b-ball game (Lakers vs. Celtics) when one of my very close friend called me from jand lets call her jandedbabe. The number was showing as private and I wasn’t going to pick it, because there is this one boy that calls and if I don’t pick up then he calls as private number. I don’t know why but I picked it eventually, thank God I did. It was jandedbabe and she was coming to the states at the end of the month to visit, we were making arrangements on how we were going to meet up and all. After talking about the serious things, she did her usual duty of giving me the lastest gossip in jand……..you know how we girls do *wink wink*. Am not about to deny I like G-I-S-T, infact if you are reading this blog you are a gistmonger too and you need to stop denying it: P. Anyways we ended up talking about her ex, something about him having a new girlfriend and they broke up because the girl liked sex too much. When she told me I was like jandedbabe I didnt hear you well. As in for real. Anyways you know how janded gist gets around real fast. Word got to the girl and she had the audacity to say “anyways I was with him because of the sex”. Babygirl wherever you are please you can do better than that and also please do us all a favour and learn how to respect yourself.
My ex was not from Nigeria he was from another West African country and thank God he was all about keeping our relationship private. Mama finegirl didn’t like him because he wasn’t a Tayo, Kunle or Jide , my mother is very backwards when it comes to things like this. Now that am single she has been drumming it in my ears that I should looking be looking for a good Yoruba man. See me see trouble, will she be there to make him Amala, Eba,Fufu, Pounded yam and the likes? Me I can make anything but all those food you eat with your hands. I can make you the ogbono, okoro soup or efo but am sorry you have to make the eba yourself only if you want to eat okoro soup and rice or pasta.....lol.
Sorry I deviated, back to what I was saying....my people I don’t know what to do but one thing I know for sure is that I don’t want my business to be out there just because I am dating a Nigerian guy. What advice do you guys have? How can you prevent them from giving out too much information while you guys are dating or after the much dreaded breakup? Does it involve a contract..lol? Also do you guys have any horror stories of a naija guy kissing and telling? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE
Monday, June 9, 2008
Welcome Note
Hello guys and welcome to my blog. First of all I would like to acknowledge the following bloggers that have greatly inspired me over time.
Bella naija - she feeds the gossip monster in me ;)
Exschoolnerd - this babe is funny and crrrrrrrazzzzzzy.
Naijachickito - just like me drama revolves around this chick.
Afrobabe - those pictures on your blog madam are something else. Your blog brought out the naughtiness in this shy girl.
Ms. emotions- just like me you love to talk about …...LOVE
Fineboy- the only word I can think of is “LOL” am sure that is not a word but y’all get my drift. Too bad he is gone now :(
Linda ikeji- very driven, multitalented and just like me has a lot on her plate.
Bumight – beauty n brains, that makes us two of a kind medical school babe meets pharmacy school chick.
Overwhelmed- anyone that knows how to get down on d dance floor and loves food will ALWAYS be my friend.
Back to me………Although I read blogs everyday, I just got the courage to start mine after a breakup that almost drove me to depression……yes oh my people D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N…am sure some of you are wondering why I was killing myself over this one guy. Firstly, this guy was my very first boyfriend and by the way I am 20. Secondly over the course of two years I was with this guy, our lives got intertwined. The gist will be coming soon.
Through my blog, I would like to take you guys through the journey of rediscovering my self, nursing my broken heart, finding love, pharmacy school and letting you in on what I think is important at the moment. Ladies and Gentlemen please fasten your seat belt and WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
Bella naija - she feeds the gossip monster in me ;)
Exschoolnerd - this babe is funny and crrrrrrrazzzzzzy.
Naijachickito - just like me drama revolves around this chick.
Afrobabe - those pictures on your blog madam are something else. Your blog brought out the naughtiness in this shy girl.
Ms. emotions- just like me you love to talk about …...LOVE
Fineboy- the only word I can think of is “LOL” am sure that is not a word but y’all get my drift. Too bad he is gone now :(
Linda ikeji- very driven, multitalented and just like me has a lot on her plate.
Bumight – beauty n brains, that makes us two of a kind medical school babe meets pharmacy school chick.
Overwhelmed- anyone that knows how to get down on d dance floor and loves food will ALWAYS be my friend.
Back to me………Although I read blogs everyday, I just got the courage to start mine after a breakup that almost drove me to depression……yes oh my people D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N…am sure some of you are wondering why I was killing myself over this one guy. Firstly, this guy was my very first boyfriend and by the way I am 20. Secondly over the course of two years I was with this guy, our lives got intertwined. The gist will be coming soon.
Through my blog, I would like to take you guys through the journey of rediscovering my self, nursing my broken heart, finding love, pharmacy school and letting you in on what I think is important at the moment. Ladies and Gentlemen please fasten your seat belt and WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
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